Posted by: morrowsl | July 9, 2013

My Morning Cup – 7.8.13

My Morning Cup - 7.8.13

I have (quite possibly) an unhealthy attachment (pun intended) to my vacuum cleaner. And I’m not naming names (mostly because I don’t recall her name), but I blame it on the astonishingly clever skills of the saleswoman who sold me on it.
Well that, and the fact that it is an extraordinarily well made and efficient machine!!
Some twenty-plus years ago, when we had three growing children and no money, a Kirby Vacuum Cleaner saleswoman came to our door. There must have been a blinking light over our house screaming “Kids and pets live here!!!” because she summed up my situation in a nanosecond and was in the door with her saleswoman’s model plugged in and running before I could say “Don’t you DARE dump that shoe full of playground mulch on my carpet!!” In a blinding flash she had the mulch sucked up (demonstrating at the same time the vacuum’s ability to lift my carpet off of it’s pad), the machine turned off and stored, and the shoe tidied up and sporting a neatly tied bow. Then she pulled out the box of “tools” that went with it (by now I’d have to consult the user’s manual to even know what they’re for much less how to attach them) and, while I was fondling those lovingly, she unsnapped the bag and folded it in half to demonstrate how I could take it outside to use on the car or lift it up to vacuum dead skin and dust mites off our mattresses (in twenty-odd years I will confess I’ve done neither).
As I said, we were poor, with no signs of a windfall in sight. So, when she told me the cost, I almost broke down in despair of ever kicking Mike’s old Kenmore canister model to the curb and replacing it with this shiny new upright. But I soldiered on and used my most convincing tactics to win him over. We had a YMCA membership that wasn’t being used much since our kids were now playing school sports and neither of us had time to consider working out, so I did my math and discovered that the payments on the Kirby would be less than the Y, AND it was something we (I) would use. DAILY!!
Somehow, Mike was persuaded. I promised him he’d never be sorry.

He will tell you that was the end of our romance. He swears I spend more time with Kirby than I do with him. He insists that I’ve never loved him as much as I love my vacuum. He’s wrong about all that, but if pressed, he will also admit that it’s been worth every dime we paid for it. It’s still working just as well as it did the day we bought it, even with a rubber band and some duct tape holding bits of it together.
And he will tell you, without hesitation, that a happy wife (even a fat one who doesn’t work out at the Y) is a wife worth coming home to. So is a clean house!!

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