Posted by: morrowsl | February 8, 2012

Dreamin…

Last week, just prior to my little trip to the ER, I had a dream about Alaska.  I do that from time to time, especially when, as is the case now, there’s a race in progress.  There are actually SEVERAL races in progress as it’s the season, but most are small and I can’t follow them all.

In my dream I was about to board a VERY tiny bush plane with (who else) Martin Buser so we could get to another checkpoint where mushers were coming in.  I really don’t recall much of what was said, mostly because that part of my dream was very short, but also it’s likely that, even in my dreams, I was totally blown away to even BE in Alaska during race season, and too, it’s probable that I’m as dumbfounded to be in the presence of that man in my dreams as I would be awake!!

The fact that I was even considering boarding a bush plane in the first place is some indicator of my insane crush.  I can still make myself ill if I think too long about boarding a commercial jet.

I should be ashamed.  Of the crush.

I’m not.  It’s Martin Buser.  God’s sakes.

But the point of admitting to all this is to say that there’s an abundance of beautiful places in this world.  All you need to do is look.  In times of stress and worry and doubt and fear, I believe it is possible to stand in one place and take in all the peace and comfort and joy it can wrap around you.  I truly feel that you can be healed by being in a place you love.

It may only be a small backyard garden.  Or the inside of your car on a particular stretch of road.  Or in the shower with a certain song running through your mind.  Or on a mountaintop in a foreign land.

Or, in a dream.

I think my dream was trying to tell me I’ve forgotten, again, to slow down.  To take care of ME.  To breathe and stretch and rest.  I think that bush plane (which, by the way I never did board) was representative of the course of my days to come.  I should have paid better attention to the message.  Had I boarded the plane, I’m certain there would have been trouble.  But even avoiding whatever was out there waiting, I still didn’t heed the message and continued trying to get too much done while ignoring my body’s signals that all was not quite well.  One of these days I may ignore myself into a real shitstorm.

So, tonight I’ve looked at more incredible pictures and videos of beautiful Alaska.  I hope I dream of her again.  This time, Martin can come along or not, but I hope what I do is find a nice spot out of the wind up high enough to see for quite a ways and just soak it all in.


Responses

  1. Not sure if it was your words, or the song I was listening to when I read it (your This is Where), but the tears are streaming down my face. I guess I needed this cry…and needed to remember to try to find “my place” again. And I hope, the next time you dream, I’m standing there beside you…enjoying the view with you. xoxo

    • You are ALWAYS with me, Elle. I’m sorry for making you cry, but then I’m not either, because I think it’s a good thing to cry and wash away your sorrows when you can. And yes, you DO need to find your “place” and spend some time there. I suspect that it is currently too cold to go to the spot I would expect to find you were I to come looking. So, maybe it’s time for a new spot?
      I love you, sister of my heart.


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