Posted by: morrowsl | December 31, 2011

Looking for a new year

Sitting in my same old chair, staring out the same window.  Same trees, same sky, same bird feeder.  Last day of 2011 and time to take a look back and decide if it was what I was anticipating when I sat here typing on December 31, 2010.

I went back and read what I’d written a year ago.  It was the end of one of the saddest years in my life, a year in which I lost two truly dear and wonderful friends, my beloved mother-in-law, and the best dog I’d ever had.  I vowed not to dwell too much on losses in the new year.  I didn’t lose as much in 2011 and so I was able to keep that one!  I wanted to avoid weight gain; I’ll have to actually step on the scales to check that one, but my clothes tell me I may be just able to say I was successful.  And I swore I’d clear out the clutter that surrounds my day to day.  Almost made it.  But the end of the year brought a totally unexpected change and I think what I should feel about that is thankful it’s such a big house after all!

Another New Year’s Eve.  Another year ahead full of surprises and shocks.  I have no idea what is ahead.  Except that very early in the year we’re to become grandparents again.  That’s the one thing I truly look forward to.  And there will be two of them, so it will be all the sweeter to hold them both and wonder at the magic that is a child.

So, that is what’s known and the only thing I feel I’ve any say in.  I don’t plan to rush to the hospital in the early morning hours to see the twins when they come.  It’s not that I don’t want to, I do!!  But I’ve come to believe that those first few hours belong to the new parents and really shouldn’t be interfered with.  We’ll wait until everyone has had a chance to rest a bit and recover from their exciting ordeal, then we’ll stop and get some flowers for Mandy and a cup of real coffee for Marc and go up and meet our newest little loves.  I have to remember to take Kleenex…

In the year to come I’d like to get some more work done on the house.  This time last year I was certain Sister and I would be looking for, and possibly moving into, a house big enough to combine our families (six at the time) so that the act of growing old could be performed with enough people around to avoid any accidents that might truly damage one of us and to help share the load of our day to day lives.  But that hasn’t happened and I’m not sure it ever will.

Another dream dies.  But I swore I wouldn’t be sad anymore.

So instead we’ll see if I can manage to make this house one I really want to stay in until I’m too old to have any say about it.  Last year we did quite a bit to try and make it cooler in summer (after the hottest summer in recorded history hit) but I think all we’ve really done it make it the coldest house in winter.  There are actually drafts around the exhaust fans in both bathrooms!!!  And I hate being wet and cold almost as much as I hate being hot.  We’re due for another hot summer, so maybe this year I should try harder to spend some time somewhere else.  Some place that takes dogs.  And a cat.  And a fish.  And a grandson and daughter.

Not sure that sounds doable either.

So, maybe the best thing to do is focus on right now and let whatever is coming come.

We stopped going out years ago…  don’t like hanging with all the crazies out there!!  So, I make Hoppin John and Mimosas and we usually nod in front of the TV until the ball drops in Times Square then we shuffle off to bed.

But one year a dear friend stopped by to bring us our Christmas gifts and agreed to call her husband down to join us.  After that, we didn’t miss a New Year’s Eve for about four years.  Then Ellen got sick and the next several years was too weak to come.  I wish, just once, we’d have taken the party to her in the hospital.  Last year, for the first time, Sammy joined us alone.  I am determined to see that he’s with us every year for as many years as we have left.  It just seems that’s where Ellen is likely to look should she want to check on Sammy on New Year’s Eve.  And I don’t ever want her to find him alone and sad as another year without her hits the calendar.

And so, that’s it.  I’ll get up from my chair and get my shower.  We’ve got Justin’s fourth birthday party to attend today and I wouldn’t miss that for all the world.  Then I’ll come home and clean out Martin’s aquarium and make it sparkle.  And I’ll put my peas on to start cooking.  Sometime this afternoon I’ll try to nap so I won’t be yawning as we head into the later hours of the evening.  Then I’ll welcome Sammy and make sure everyone has a drink and is comfortable.  We’ll fire up the games and let the laughter surround us like a warm snugly blanket.  We’ll eat our peas for good luck.  And we’ll celebrate the beginning of 2012.

Come what may.


Responses

  1. I wish you and your family a blessed and joyful 2012! I hope this coming year for all of us is one with no loss, but gain! No sadness, but happiness! No ill health, but abundant health! No empty coffers, but enough money to see to all our needs and then some extra for fun!

  2. I’d never heard of peas for good luck. May just have to try it! God knows, we could all use some.

    I always feel as if I’ve had a decent chin-wag with you after reading your words; something I cherish. I’m glad it’s morning and I have my tea at hand…just like other mornings we’ve shared.

    Here’s to many more shared experiences and a kinder, gentler 2012 for you, sister-of-my-heart! Love you… BIG!

  3. well, the new year did come as you predicted, as for new babies bring them on, hot summers can go back to hell where they came from! sorry you didn’t get the nap you so deserve. The peas where fantastic and the cornbread as well. Hope martin gets his tub cleaned soon. Thanks for everything you do and did in 2011. love you b

  4. 2011 was a good year for me, I got to be with my family in Texas alot and that ment the world to me. I fixed peas and share them with a friend from the south that lives up here, Jim wanted no part of them. I too look forward to the twins, just hope I get to see them before they start school. LOl


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